Hope
by Ally823
Summary: A quick drabble about Kratos as he thinks about the things that have happened since he encountered Lloyd and makes himself accountable to Anna (sort of).


**Disclaimer:** _I don't own it, and I'm not profiting from this story._

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 **Hope**

The path was worn, years of being traversed wearing a thin line through the grass and packing down the dirt that was left behind. Twilight had rendered it into a ribbon, light blue amongst a sea of navy. Trees and shrubbery stood stoically off to the side while monsters roamed beyond.

All in all, it was a fairly decent night. The air was warm and a little humid, a slight breeze rustling through the greenery and various insects chiming in with their nightly chorus. It was a relatively safe place, and it was saturated with more than a decade of a child's pleasant memories.

These woods were also filled with a keen sense of loss and, more recently, regret.

Kratos closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath, attention never once wavering from his surroundings. The threat of monsters and Desians did not concern him. To him, the real threat lay before him inside a small, lovingly crafted house.

All of his senses were trained on the front door, fearing it might creak open and the sole inhabitant inside would discover the presence of a mercenary that should have been half a world away with the inhabitant's son.

Their son, in a warped way.

He hadn't known for certain. Not until he had seen Anna's grave. He'd tried to tell himself it was a coincidence that the young cocky boy at the Martel Temple so strongly resembled the son he'd lost nearly fifteen years ago. Each tiny piece—the boy's age, his name, his appearance, and the exphere that adorned his hand—added up to a picture Kratos had been, quite frankly, terrified to address at the time. He thought he'd made his peace with the loss of the two people he'd cherished more than anything else, but Lloyd's presence at the temple had stirred something in Kratos that he was too afraid to acknowledge yet.

His eyes opened, and he stared across the expanse that separated him from Anna. He'd never admit it, but he trembled at the thought of approaching her now. As if her ghost might materialize and watch him with the accusation and betrayal he so rightly deserved. He'd failed their son and her memory by abandoning Lloyd to the forest all those years ago. He should never have assumed the monsters had gotten to them. He should have scoured heaven and earth before giving up. Instead, he'd chosen to let them go without a fight. Chosen to believe the worst without confirming it.

Memories of that awful day threatened to resurface and he shoved them back. Now wasn't the time to drown in the past.

He took as steadying breath and stepped onto the crude bridge that connected Dirk's home to the forest, and the world beyond. Nervously, he glanced at the flowers in his hand. It was potentially risky leaving them behind for the dwarf to find, but it tore Kratos up to pretend he had no connection to the woman buried here. He needed to do _something_ , even if he was merely indulging in sentimentality. It felt wrong to feign indifference when he loved Anna so fiercely—even now.

The boards creaked slightly under his feet and his boots _clunked_ against the wood. Once he made it to the other side, he found it easier to close the rest of the distance to the grave. The door to Dirk's house remained closed.

The first time he came here, with the Chosen and the Sages, he'd nearly went to his knees when confronted with this final piece of proof that not only had he not lost _every_ thing, but that he'd made a terrible mistake.

He fell to his knees now, ignoring the twin bursts of pain in his legs as he hit the ground. Almost of its own volition, his free hand reached out and gingerly caressed the headstone.

"Anna," he whispered. He placed the small bouquet in front of the stone. It was a cluster of lilies, one of Anna's favorite flowers. "I'm sorry. I abandoned Lloyd to return to Mithos's side. It was the wrong thing to do, and I'm finally understanding exactly how wrong." He grimaced. She would be furious with him, and rightly so. "I intend, for Lloyd's sake, to fix this." She had begged him, in the end, to kill her so she wouldn't have to die knowing she'd first killed her own baby. "For your sake, as well. I will do what I should have done years ago and not let your sacrifice be in vain."

A wry smile tugged at his lips. "He's already survived more than I would have believed possible. I think that it's worth aiding him and his friends." A crazy plan had begun forming in the back of his mind. One that would cost him his life, but the more he watched Lloyd and his friends, the more he realized his idea actually had a chance of succeeding. It would be the ultimate sacrifice, but it would also ensure Anna's death had meaning. Besides, Lloyd already had a father who cared for him. A father who had raised him into a stubborn, headstrong man with a soft heart.

Lloyd reminded Kratos of who Mithos used to be, and the similarities between them made Kratos believe that Lloyd, if given a chance, had the strength to fundamentally change the worlds. He'd believed the same of Mithos all those millennia ago, and his young student had succeeded beyond his wildest dreams.

Something had to happen, and soon. The system Mithos had put in place had been infinitesimally falling apart and it certainly wouldn't last forever. If anyone had the strength of will to unite the worlds, it was Lloyd, and he had excellent friends who would help him succeed. The Tethe'allan Chosen was certainly a wild card, but Kratos had faith he could be kept somewhat in check by the rest of Lloyd's group. It wouldn't do to underestimate Zelos Wilder, though.

"I will do my part to ensure he succeeds where you and I could not," he continued. "The age of lifeless beings will not come to pass."

He rose, glancing at the house. Best to leave now before he overstayed his visit. Quietly, he crossed the bridge and melded back into the forest. Twilight had long since ceded to full darkness, though he had no trouble seeing. He paused on the other side of the bridge and turned back.

His crazy plan would have to work. Lloyd didn't know his true paternity, so Kratos's death would not have a significant impact. Once Kratos met the void, Dirk and Lloyd's friends would watch out for him, and Noishe would doubtless remain with Lloyd until the end of his days.

It was a small comfort, and it augmented the feeling Lloyd had awoken in him all those months ago.

Hope.

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 **A/N:** _I was pretty tired when I wrote this (in a fairly short amount of time), so I'm sorry if it was a bit rambley in places. It's also been a little while since I've played the game, so I basically went off of what I remember (with a little bit of creating licensing for extra angst)._

 _Thank you for reading!_

 _\- A_


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